Savoring This Moment

" Mothers Little Helper"
© Monica Wiesblott 2009

I have been dealing with a lot of rejections recently.
For a few months now, I have been submitting something almost weekly, some show or magazine or competition.
The rejection letters have ranged from form letters to personal misspellings of my name.
All these words have begun to wear on my, making me believe that almost anything I submit is doomed from the moment it leaves my hands.
Despite my best efforts I have been feeling less then optimistic about my dreams of becoming an exhibiting artist.
Emotionally, I put everything into what I submit; when it leaves my hands, I imagine it accepted, or published or hung in a show. I put it out into the universe, " this is what I want"!

Recently, this has not done much.
In fact, so little that I have begun my own Salon des Refusés in my Etsy shop. I simply call it a "pity party sale".
In an effort to keep my chin up.

Well, today I submitted work** to the very prestigious Santa Barbara Printmakers Group
this group is filled with not only my past printmaking teachers, figure drawing teachers, and art instructors but also my Art Mentor!! This is a group of highly talented, amazing printmakers and artists! To join this group, you need to be accepted into the annual juried show and then you will receive an invitation to join.
I was encouraged to submit and I took the leap again, if nothing else I refuse to let go of my hopes just yet!
Printmakers from far and wide came to submit work. There was over 100+ pieces pre-registered for the show.
The Juror was Gordon Fuglie: Curator of Exhibitions and Collections at the San Luis Obispo Art Center, Laband Art gallery among other places.
When I was waiting to leave work I heard someone say " I hear he is a really tough juror".
To be honest, my heart sank...seriously the last thing I needed was a new hole in my already unsteady heart.
I stood in line, and looked at the work being left for judging, my eyes the size of saucers...such amazing beautiful work. I left my work in a pool of wondrous colors and styles, I felt like such a small fish in such a vast ocean of big fish....I left and started the wait.
I have a timer that starts in my head when ingathering stops (when the acceptance of images is closed to any more submissions) then I start to count..."ok half an hour down...only this much longer".
When it was time to pick up the art I was filled with dread. My heart was pounding, I was sick and for a moment I stood on the stairs outside the building wondering if I should even go inside, I was shaking after all. I wanted this soooooooo badly and I so didn't want to add another stitch to my barely contained broken heart.
I did what I needed to do and went inside to see the list of accepted work.

It was a very small list.....

I scanned the paper, quickly and didn't see my name...." I knew it!!" then I scanned for the other person (I had brought work for another artist too) while looking for her name I saw mine! I saw my name....I checked the top of the paper again to make sure this was the accepted work, I couldn't believe it...I wasn't in belief. I had gotten a piece in!!! and the person I brought work for also got a piece in! I was in shock...I still am.

" Only The Sound Of My Breath Could Be Heard"

© Monica Wiesblott 2009

The show opens tomorrow night and runs thru October 30th in the Faulkner Gallery (Santa Barbara Main Library)
this could last me for a while, and when that next letter arrives in the mail I will be that much stronger.