Thankful Thursday

Thank you so very much for the birthday wishes!

It made me feel warm and remembered and loved, oh so loved!

My birthday was spent with family Monday night, we shared a meal and some laughs and mostly talked about this and that.

The following night I went to a concert with my hubby, to see this fantastic band:
Chris Robinson Brotherhood

We stood right at the stage and made eye contact with them, it kind of freaked me out a little.

It was like entering such and intimate environment and not really knowing these people. Everyone seemed to be really enjoying themselves and the music was great.

Amazing people watching too....

My hubby and his friend have gotten tickets to all the performances that they are going to do in our town. So this was their third concert at this venue.

The first person that caught my eye was a lady that had parked herself in front of Chris Robinson's microphone, well before the concert was due to start. Hubby said she had been at all the other concerts too, and liked to dance in front of Chris Robinson all concert long...some call her a groupie, some an exhibitionist but I would like to think that she really likes the music and wants that intimate experience all to herself.

Once the concert started she did kick right into gear and the sexual energy off that woman was CRAZY no wonder my hubby and everyone on stage remembered her.

I had secured my spot right next to hubby, with some space to spare..but that didn't last long, as there was some subtle nudges from the tall pretty lady behind me, who wanted my spot..but I didn't bow and stood my ground, much to her disappointment.

As I have mentioned before,I am obsessive with not loosing my hearing so I wear earplugs,

one of the many benefits to this allows me to hear all the lower conversations that others can't without the plugs.

It fed me well at this concert; I could here the flirting conversations coming from a couple on the other side of us, I could hear our friend singing along to the music, I could hear the guy behind telling his friend that he wants to learn how to play guitar like that!...and after the concert I could hear and not have to scream my conversations.

Not only did I love watching all the beautiful people, but I also saw a real live movie person there...

I turned into a little giddy girl and nudged my hubby on spying him. I was giggling and trying to act cool...but I have no poker face for these things.

In fact when I saw this person, while working at a local bookstore I went pale, stuttered my "can I help you find anything" and backed away. Like I had seen a snake or something...he found it quite amusing.

At the time it made me want to die, oh my gosh

I watched Mr. tall dark and handsome for as long as he was in my sights and then went back to watching the band, you know the reason we were actually there....

Birthday

1972 waiting for the party to start

Today is my birthday...as a kid it was a BIG deal.

My parents felt it was a big deal, my grandparents felt it was a big deal...

so I too learned it was a BIG deal.

I had elaborate home thrown parties, thanks to the handiwork of my parents.

I was told I needed to invite everyone in my class,

so often times 30+ kids would show up plus family!

Homemade cakes, pinatas, coloring and screaming like a banshee

was always part of the fun.

My parents kept this pace up from my first to my 18th birthday!

After that things became more and more refined...

There were less people at the parties, but more deliberate moves:

surprise guests, surprise locations,

My parents have even managed into my adulthood to continue to surprise me...

when my birthday fell on workdays I would often try and take them off...

but when I couldn't

I would find that my parents had written happy birthday along my path in chalk!

Literally stopping and writing it in the road along the way to work

When my hubby and I married, he freaked out at my first birthday...

I mean he had a TOUGH act to follow.

He often goes white around this time of the year...he is not one for surprises for himself,

but knows I really enjoy a good rattle...

so over the years he has gone well out of his comfort zone to make my birthdays special.

I have never been away for my birthday, I always make sure to see my parents and thank them for being who they are and encouraging me to be anyone I dream to become.

I consider myself more then lucky.

I am so truly and amazingly honored to walk thru life with these people.

Our mutual desire is to make each other happy and celebrate this crazy time we call life!

National Infertility Awareness Week April 24th -30th

Today kicks off National Infertility Awareness Week,

in honor of this I am busting a commonly believed myth.

The purpose is to educate and stop misinformation.

Infertility has forced me to become an advocate for truth and an activist for empathy 

You did something to cause your infertility that is why you can’t get pregnant

According to RESOLVE there are few lifestyle choices that cause permanent damage to your fertility. I think when push comes to shove; the easiest path for most is the “blame game”.

For us the first years of our infertility was my fault; according to doctors and family at least.

I cannot tell you how often I heard that I must be doing something wrong… you must not have counted the days correctly. You must not have kept your pelvis tilted long enough? You probably didn’t have sex enough or at the right times.

If they were not focusing on our sex life; they were offering up suggestions for food, exercise, eastern medicine and rituals. In our physicians, friends and families eyes, this was entirely our fault and we had clearly overlooked something. It quickly became insulting and hurtful.

Well we were rabbits! I have been a healthy vegetarian for close to twenty years, I had never drank, I had never smoked, I took my vitamins, I moved my body, I wasn’t overweight or underweight. I was just your average healthy Jane; nothing remarkable or special about me. We explored non-traditional medicines, exercises, meditations and non-evasive medical treatments that fit our beliefs.

When I finally to complained about extreme pain (I waited several months to do this as I thought I needed to suffer to become a mother), I was told that I was overreacting to having painful periods. It was only after advocating for myself that it was discovered that there was a medical reason for my infertility, and it had NOTHING to do with my lifestyle or lack of trying.

My Infertility came from a combination of a birth defect and aggressively relentless fibroids and cysts. Nothing I could have eaten, taken, or chosen did this. Making love 24 hours a day, 7 days a week would never have changed this. It was not my fault and no one is to blame.

It is this message that is the hardest to still get thru people’s minds.

The easiest route is to play the blame game; the harder choice is to be empathetic.

Be tough and make the harder choices.

Thankful Thursday

Well here we are at Thursday again and I find myself busy and thankful.

This blog is FILLED with informative links.

In preparation for NIAW (National Infertility Awareness Week) which is April 24-30th

I have been asked to be a guest blogger on!

 No Ordinary Homestead

and

I will be submitting a myth about infertility that will be linked via two separate sites:

Ladies in Waiting Bookclub

and
Resolve

In the meantime this week is International Comment Leaving Week

this is all over the blogosphere!

 This encourages people to find new blogs and leave comments on what they read!

I am thankful to be so so so wonderfully busy

Explordinary*

With kitty on the mend and acting far more like himself I am feeling more and more able to start to relax and not think that every hiccup or long nap is a sign of impending doom.

Since March 14th or so, I have really not been able to focus on much of anything with great depth. So it is like starting from square one all over again...I still am working on catching up with some sleep and keeping up with the copious amounts of admin work that comes with being an artist.

It, among other items, are seemingly deeply kept secrets that are never shared

with students who are wanting to become artists.

Well working ones. 

With this struggle to regain my momentum I have been a little hard on myself....I'll own up to it

me circa 1973..I am as tall as a goat, amazing

I know I am not the only one that does this...my birthday is a mere two weeks away and it has me thinking. You know those mortal thoughts about your own life.

The reassessment of all that you are and who you have become...

What the hell am I doing, how can I be a better person, what can I do with my time here...have I already wasted it all? Is it too late for new adventures and thoughts.

My birthday often has me wanting to reinvent myself too...new haircut, new styles, improved ideals.

There has been a lot of death this year, with family, friends and far away places...in fact I cut myself off from news all together for a couple of weeks after the Japan earthquake and tsunami

(you still can make a donation to the red cross or animal rescue groups, check out my sidebar).

 I was glued to the television at one point watching an Al Jazzera report, in Chinese dubbed in Russian, and subtitled in English reading off the towns that were destroyed and the climbing causalities counts.  I was terrified to turn off the reports for fear that someone would be forgotten.

I found myself doing the same thing after 9/11; It happened with the newscasts in New York too....watching, weeping as people pleaded to help find their missing loved ones in the chaos.

I was so deeply effected it paralyzed me, literally.

So in an effort to protect myself and my shaky sanity I turned off the news, both online and via TV...it was hard as I am quite a newshound and enjoy knowing what is happening outside my home. My choice proved to be a good one when the first rains arrived and my hubby let slip that this was the first sheet of radiation rain...I went white and he remembered I had no clue what was happening!

I am still cautious about what I read...there is a lot of fear-feeding going on right now.

So with the lack of sleep, the heavy work load, self imposed time lines and goals, impending birthday and fear mongering I am looking to what I hold dear and near.

Remembering what I value most and what I aspire to still achieve.

I am sure these next few days will be interesting ones...hold on it could be a bumpy ride

Life is not for the faint of heart, but boy I appreciate this...it is far better then the alternative!

* Explordinary= my god daughter was watching a film and a scene came on that had a boy and a girl kiss; with a squeal she rolled into a ball and covered her eyes, only peeking thru her fingers and asking me to tell her when the scene was over. When I said they were done, and all seemed to survive just fine I asked, what was going thru her mind. Was it embarrassing, or scary or what? She said no to all my suggestions but instead said it was explordinary...
I am still not sure what that means, but with the smile on her face and the giggle in her voice I would guess it means...a thrill!