Stepping out...

image via etsy

I met with a local painter I admire the other day...it was something we had been wanting to do for a while and the time finally lined up.

***

I know the painter I met with, in a casual sort of way.

You know when you are familiar with someone because you frequent their stall at farmers market, say hello and how do you do. The person you always seem to get at the coffee shop.

You know them but haven't had a meal with them kind of know.

She is someone like that.

She is amazingly talented, and making it as an artist and designer.

In all fairness she also knows me about as well too.

We are far more familiar with each others work then each other.

We agreed to meet at a coffeeshop in the town between my home and work...she told me the name,

I knew the place and agreed.

I arrived a little early because I wanted to seem cool and relaxed by the time she arrived, and so I ordered a chai, opened my current list book (book I am making to-do lists in) and relaxed.

Taking in the scene:

Be cool, you are cool enough to be here

Boy, there are a lot of yoga people here, everyone looks like models

I don't feel so cool right now

That table is talking codes and meta links, I kind of know what they are saying

Hummm that one looks like Justin Timber...

ohh I know this song, I like this album.

OK I am cool enough again

I feel like I am looking for a blind date, looking up at everyone that enters this place...

focus on your list

Sipping chai...mmmm

Wow there are a lot of laptops in here

Ohhh check out that guys mood medallion, it is huge but not overly sooo

I should try their chocolate chai next time....

What time is it?

*

Then the text came : looking forward to meeting with you today

I texted back I was waiting for her.

She said I am here where are you?

I, it turns out, was at the wrong coffee shop.

I was at the original location, she was at the newest.

I blew it!

I told her I would be there in a moment.

I gulped the top third of my chai, leaving the rest to be thrown down the drain and

my calm eroded as I walk/ran to the car three blocks away and drove to the correct location.

By the time I arrived, I was a half hour late!

ugh

Comfort zone shattered- check

I am never that late person, but today I was.

She was gracious and we ended up talking for an hour and a half.

I got to learn about her process and her other businesses, she has two others besides her painting.

It is funny to hear highly productive people say how they wish they were more organized or better at scheduling. We talked about personal goals, exchanged website inspiration and simply shared some time. We giggled with guilt at how unusual it feels to meet someone in the morning at a coffee shop, on a studio day and wondered if it fed the stereotype of what people think artists do all day.

We both then commiserated on how much work we actually do to get our work seen.

She had multiple client meetings so we visited as long as we could.

It was a good morning, didn't start out as calm as I had hoped but it ended that way.

I also know a little more about her making our next chat that much easier.

Things learned:

Triple check addresses of agreed meeting places

Be kind to yourself when things go wackadoodle, it isn't always bad

Try a chocolate chai, if you are gonna spend $5 on a drink make it a splurge

You are doing just fine...keep on keeping on

Explordinary*

With kitty on the mend and acting far more like himself I am feeling more and more able to start to relax and not think that every hiccup or long nap is a sign of impending doom.

Since March 14th or so, I have really not been able to focus on much of anything with great depth. So it is like starting from square one all over again...I still am working on catching up with some sleep and keeping up with the copious amounts of admin work that comes with being an artist.

It, among other items, are seemingly deeply kept secrets that are never shared

with students who are wanting to become artists.

Well working ones. 

With this struggle to regain my momentum I have been a little hard on myself....I'll own up to it

me circa 1973..I am as tall as a goat, amazing

I know I am not the only one that does this...my birthday is a mere two weeks away and it has me thinking. You know those mortal thoughts about your own life.

The reassessment of all that you are and who you have become...

What the hell am I doing, how can I be a better person, what can I do with my time here...have I already wasted it all? Is it too late for new adventures and thoughts.

My birthday often has me wanting to reinvent myself too...new haircut, new styles, improved ideals.

There has been a lot of death this year, with family, friends and far away places...in fact I cut myself off from news all together for a couple of weeks after the Japan earthquake and tsunami

(you still can make a donation to the red cross or animal rescue groups, check out my sidebar).

 I was glued to the television at one point watching an Al Jazzera report, in Chinese dubbed in Russian, and subtitled in English reading off the towns that were destroyed and the climbing causalities counts.  I was terrified to turn off the reports for fear that someone would be forgotten.

I found myself doing the same thing after 9/11; It happened with the newscasts in New York too....watching, weeping as people pleaded to help find their missing loved ones in the chaos.

I was so deeply effected it paralyzed me, literally.

So in an effort to protect myself and my shaky sanity I turned off the news, both online and via TV...it was hard as I am quite a newshound and enjoy knowing what is happening outside my home. My choice proved to be a good one when the first rains arrived and my hubby let slip that this was the first sheet of radiation rain...I went white and he remembered I had no clue what was happening!

I am still cautious about what I read...there is a lot of fear-feeding going on right now.

So with the lack of sleep, the heavy work load, self imposed time lines and goals, impending birthday and fear mongering I am looking to what I hold dear and near.

Remembering what I value most and what I aspire to still achieve.

I am sure these next few days will be interesting ones...hold on it could be a bumpy ride

Life is not for the faint of heart, but boy I appreciate this...it is far better then the alternative!

* Explordinary= my god daughter was watching a film and a scene came on that had a boy and a girl kiss; with a squeal she rolled into a ball and covered her eyes, only peeking thru her fingers and asking me to tell her when the scene was over. When I said they were done, and all seemed to survive just fine I asked, what was going thru her mind. Was it embarrassing, or scary or what? She said no to all my suggestions but instead said it was explordinary...
I am still not sure what that means, but with the smile on her face and the giggle in her voice I would guess it means...a thrill!