I have been working a lot of evenings this month in order to get some work to choose from for this show.
I have too many decisions now and when pressed to send in information for the gallery labels, I froze and thought my head would explode!
I have picked two of my new larger plates to display. I love them both and I have found, within myself a mountain of self doubt.
When I am working alone in the studio I am in love with my work. Giggly and blissful and euphoric. Like falling in love for the first time.
When the moment comes that others will see it, I am filled with doubt.
Is it strong? Will anyone besides me like it? I will be found out, that I am a poser, a want to be.
As much as I would like to be strong and unmoved by the judgement of others, I seek it out.
As an artist, I find that as fragile as I am, I repeatedly enter the environment of judgement and base my worth off of this feedback. If it is bad, then I clearly didn't work hard enough on it. If it is good, I need to be more humble.
It is a no win situation!
But alas, it all makes complete sense in my mind.....
We put the show up tomorrow, and I am sitting here blogging instead of framing the work....procrastination. I am the goddess of that!
Eventually I will pull all my loose strings together and start measuring and cutting mat board.
Once framed, I will fall in love again...until I leave the house and put it before others.
1 comment:
Your work is beautiful and valuable, and that's the truth!
(Not sure if I'll make it, I am usually exhausted Friday nights, I work at a school with little ones until 5:30pm.)
Best wishes in the show,
hugs,
~Shell
Post a Comment